Circles

 I'm not feeling well again tonight

Your thoughts creep up to me like spiders in sight
Its the thing I fear the most, your rejection like ice
No matter how many songs about you I write
I can never shake off this feeling I get from you.

Its like I'm dragging my feet now out of the mud
Out of the ditch I've made up myself and fallen into
There's no one around, no one to help me out
You were never here in this place I've started calling home
The place I built from the mess you made of me
Tearing me into parts I never imagined of me.

I wish you'd hit me up with those internet jokes you found
You'll sit back and laugh, and I'll just watch you to sore
To the point where I don't know where I am or who am I
To the depths where exist only you and I
Because you're the only haven I've ever known
Love at first sight maybe so, you're the only haven I've ever known.

Withdrawal symptoms are catching up to me now that you're gone
I can't look at the skies without thinking of you anymore
The sights of stars and moon almost tear me up every night
How you used to say if I watched it or not
If I missed some eclipse or some godly sort at a random time
I really miss you if anything else,
I really miss you if it means anything to you.

I don't know what I'm waiting for this late at night
I don't know what is this feeling I just can't seem to shake off
The moment I saw you I knew my heart will remember this for long
Why so pretty, why so tall, why so much like the person I want
To heal my scars and heal my sins
As if I can be pure if I have been sinned
You'll  make it all disappear I believe
You'll make it all disappear like the wind you're in.

You don't deserve to hurt me like this but here you are
Tripping on parts of me I've long scarred
Breaking all the waves and hollowing my heart
You're an addiction I just can't shake off.

I rewind every moment I can of you
Why is love never reciprocated the way i want it to
You keep me going in circles I can't seem to break
You keep calling me back when I said I won't stay
Because these red strings tangled in me are now choking me to death
You're the only person I've known who can kill me just like that
Without a single word, without another glance
Without a doubt of who I am.