What is true?

 What if i told you one day i am not what I seem

Its all the trinkets I've worn to adorn myself
In this sea of you and me and our memories
What if I told you I am the devil and you'll leave me drowning.

I'm scared to put my hand forward because my heart doesn't know when to stop
And when my mind realizes it, its never too late for me to back up
You'll leave me once I do that, once I show you my scared moss
My ugly, sticky personality, my smelling socks.

In a party, everyone is singing, dancing, enjoying,
But what if I wanted to be by your side and wanted you to whisper in my ears
That I looked beautiful and I looked fine, and I was perfect to be here and I was mademoiselle in my time
Instead, what if you laughed at me on my insecurities and I realized you weren't what once was mine.

What if one day I wake up and realize there's no mom around me
There's just a body with a working soul and mind, but there's no heart
There's no calling out my name in sugar and making coffee for me at night
And I wake up, wake up every night with the same nightmare and the daylight never reaches my eye.

What if one day I just never wake up.
I lay on my bed thinking this is the end, this is the ultimatum of my suffering
But someone boos me out of the trance and my soul is snatched back to my skin
I look side to the person who tricked me and what if it was you smiling at me.

If I realized you were a good person, would it change all the things I did you to all along
Would you forgive me for it all and write my name in red roses again
These are the things that could happen but what would happen is for more worse in my memory
That you'll leave when I am screaming your name and well, while this has also happened to me.

5feb25 4:12