Paranoid

 Life feels good now even if you don't care

Even if I do care that you don't care but its okay
In three, nine or twelve months, we can get over this love run
We can throw off our clothes and shows us the person we've become
In each other's presence like a light in a dark forest
Leading me to the sight of brightest stars
Even if To the smell of my long lost scars.

You wake up, you sleep whenever you like
You don't care if I do mind or don't
Fuck you and your mother fucking habits
My paranoia and this deja vu feeling
How come we're one but not together
How come you don't know what you're doing
And I am the arrow header.

Cut me off, spill my words and tearing my down like a tapestry
You awake my deepest souls and my fucking memories
You're so pure like a feather lost in between a melody
You're so like me but never enough for me

I want you here, I want you in my arms
I want you in ways nobody would want their love
When I talk to you it feels like a dream come undone
But the contents marred my poetries and soured my tongue
You became someone I couldn't get anymore
Because I didn't want to understand you anymore
I wanted you here in my arms, in my heart, in everywhere my happiness lies
I want you in ways my mind cannot describe.

You're so beautiful yet so ugly to make me cry all the time
You spill your words with blood intentions and expect me to be blind
I'm wise beyond my years, I am a killer without a crime
I've manipulation in my veins and still I'm a puppet to your tricks.

Witness the hold you have on me
Watch me die in your arms like all the times you ignored me
God why I couldn't be someone you never believed in
Why did I remain an enigma when all I wanted was to be seen.

25/2/25