It's near.

 Does it all really has to be this distant? 

The city twinkling beneath my feet makes me feel like there are people out there going on with their lives without paying heed to the negatives. 'I should be doing that too,' I mumble to myself, my voice a broken bit of the tears I cried all the way up on this terrace. With my feet hanging down the rail I murmur things to myself no evil speaks to. I wonder if things should stay as simple as they are, but you know, the twist lies all in the hidden meaning.

'I want so much space and peace I feel like this world is getting smaller day by day. I shouldn't think about life too much I knew', heaving a sigh I continue, 'that's a work of the cheap souls. I know what I am worth but the desire towards it is turning me into a monster. I feel sorry everyday for feeling like this. For feeling like I'm a dying leaf in the hurricane, despite the leaf is already dead in the ambience. I don't know how I'll survive, this is too much, isn't it?' 

I take a deep breath of this city air, must be mixed with vengeance, betrayal, trust, or maybe the tiniest bit of love. It's so concerning that one day you wake up and realize that the world is not even an inch of what it seems to be, the mirror it shows, it's ugly, the reflection. 

Just then my ears sensed heavy footsteps approaching the terrace. It's never late in this busy arena, but I obviously wouldn't like to be alone with someone else on the roof, or be noticed that there are two pulses radiating heat up in this cold. I quickly hide behind a big water tank containing wall, and seep myself into the concrete slim enough to not be noticed even if the wall's hiding me well. From this corner, no city lights could be seen and my feelings now detach from the vulnerable squirrel to a cold miser. 

Faint talking could be heard from the other end. I dared not to look out for the face, it's not threatening in a way but. Though I am feeling bored. So I hold on to the piece of grey and sneak a little from my left eye about what's going on. And to my misery, there's not one but two people here. 

I have always be 50/50 on personality, you can call me an ambivert but I mostly keep a lot of things to myself. There's a man and in front of him a woman, both of them must be in their late twenty, working and that sort of thing. The girl has long blonde hairs and a stature only a bit short of the man who has dark brown hairs, maybe, as much as I could decipher in this dark blanket surrounding us. He is in a formal dress and the girl...she is really pretty, I can see her face much more clearly from the city light fades, and she's wearing a yellow long gown. I don't know what is going on, but this could make a great story for a scribbler like me. I inhale in the details.

The man keeps waving his hands in the air at short intervals and the girl is facing him, arms crossed with a disgusted look on her face. The irony here? It escalated too fast for me, as I noticed a pen knife dangling from the woman's purse. It's clear, and open to snatch and slit. I am afraid if I am about to witness a murder in this dark night. 

They continue with their convo for long, my soles start hurting from the peep-toe wedge. As soon, my mind starts wondering what it all might be about. Did the girl betrayed the boy? Were they in a secret relationship and got cut open? Or is the boy simply angry about some behavior of the girl? Did she do something or always does something that annoys him and he's done with it now? Are they frustrated about something else? Did their love die too soon? Or the man is just justifying his wrong actions into white lies and satisfaction? Or is it just a simple battle over what to eat this dinner? 

I am going crazy. But I notice a slight shift in the demeanor of the girl when the boy tries to touch her arm. She doesn't lets him do that. Then it must be something dirty or again a flicker of her annoyed action habit. After some time now, they stop and the boy rests both his hands on his waist and the girl composes her previous pose. They remain silent for a long time again until I notice a big restaurant headboard light going off. The city's going to sleep. 

The man released a sigh and to my utter surprise, got down on his knees in front of her and joined both of his hands in a pray. He is now pleading something to her and her face softens a bit even after keeping the arrogant posture. Maybe I am hallucinating or I heard the soft sobs of the man and the girl slowly drops down her arms and wraps it around the shaking body of the man. It's a sweet sight where grief wins over every other argument. 

They share a few more words and then arms in arms, they leave with a teary sight and a lovely smile on their face. I know they'll never know I saw them, or that I ever wrote about them. But this hollow feeling inside me that everything's distant isn't there anymore. It's like that I have always been near to every feeling but only got the chance to catch it now, in my fingers as I'm writing it. 

It's near, all this, now I know, it's near.