Hahh?

What....? Am I see it correct? Did my eye power increase? Am I going blind slowlyyyy? Because this is something I would never have ever imagined to see in real. No this is not true. It so can't be! I turn away and take off my glasses immediately, rubbing my eyes and touching all over if I am really in this moment or in a day-dreaming wish fulfillment state. I take a deep breath; breathe the hell of my hot coffee in and out, check my racing pulses on the wrist and turn around finally. 

It's true. I am neither dreaming nor dead.

They're right in front of me. God.

My soul calms down when I finally take my sight in and let it sink beneath my hurricane blood wave inside. The person among more person i know, is breathing the sunshine in. The one beside him is afraid to show one side of his face but little does he know he's....literally beautiful in this sickening reality. The most handsome among them, the current violet haired guy is scanning the whole Cafe, and the dark blue baseball cap person is on his phone. The cat leader talking around and the others nodded in agreement; he seemed so excited to be there already. The other two stuffed in a corner are in their own meditative state i guess, one deep in thoughts and one with no thoughts. I know. But the fact that it would be true for real makes me want to catch some air.

Of course I am on a overseas trip for work and dropped by to have some enticing black coffee to scratch my sleep incomings completely. But meeting these people I know, the boy band I have loved for so many years even after their disbandment leads me to wonder if ever the things we really love have a way of towards them for us. I am frozen.

I stare at them for a lot while. It's my first time of course. But they are beautiful. Not the beauty kind but mixed with a feeling I get when I am with the things I love, like my piano, journal, 35mm film camera or this coffee I prefer to have everyday. My heart seems at peace right now.

They are laughing on something right now in a hushed tone, not too loud to gather attention but seeing their faces lit up with happiness like a Christmas tree at midnight out on the lawn under the dark night sky, leaves me wondering about all the pretty things in the world and how good it felt to be there, alive. 

I had this feeling that my breath was tangling with theirs in this close proximity of the cafe. I really liked the fact that it might be the only intimate thing I'll ever exchange with them besides believing at 17 that we were under the same sky. I wanted an autograph maybe. 

I searched for a notebook in my oversized coat pocket and their i found a vintage one I have had since the start of my college year. I have a job now but I still prefer this notebook everywhere for the memorable day i got when I knew I'll never be returning home but going home to my passion, my bioinformatics field. I live a life of my wish. And that is something which could only come alive because of their constant presence in my life. If I was happy, it was because of them. I needed to tell them this.

I thought about when to walk over when I saw their short meal had arrived. It won't be nice to barge in on dessert-ful hands. They talked a bit over the food exchange, i saw them finish it before my eyes and now it was about to be over. This proximity was to turn into a void of a cafe etched in my memory. I would be damned i think if I let this too have a sad background. I got up a minute after they left, grabbed the paper cup, paid for my coffee, and walked out the cafe door, the wooden piece making a clinging happy sound as i stepped out.

I looked around me to find them but they were not around. My heart took a leap when I turned around the right side to find violet haired head eyes looking my way. I bowed when I realized and he nudged the others about my presence. My heart was beating insanely fast and my hands started shaking slowly but frantically. 

I smiled when I closed the large distance. I said I was an engene since I was 16 and wanted to thank them for their happy hand in the growth of my life. The bright sunshine guy smiled wide and brought his hand to his mouth in excitement. I was so happy the very moment. I put forward my notebook stating I won't take longer and apologized if I intruded on any important conversation. They said there was nothing like that and signed happily. I thanked them lots and wished them a great time ahead. I really looked at the sunshine guy a little more to let him know maybe if he could get it that he was the best for me and I think he got it, he must have; but I know my heart anyways loved them all the same.

I greeted goodbye, waved lots and left quickly smiling. This maybe the best day of my life for the hell years I was going to live more. But it was going to heal a bit more with this particular memory now wrapped around me like a warm sweater in my this icy world. 

I turned the notebook when I was out of sight, and saw a small heart drawn below a cat signature and there was engene written inside the curves in capital. It was enha's heart. It's not cringing, it's true, it's real right there. The pages shivering a bit in sight placed firm on my hand lines. I was so happy to be there. 

I released a great sigh and closed the notebook. I pocketed it at its previous place and walked over to my destination now. Everything was right, everything was great. 

But I felt for the first time as if I was carrying love now in my oversized coat.