Until you die

I remember when my sneezes made sad cobwebs on the tissue

As I slowly remembered every word you made me say
Keeping that knife on my throat, you made me stay.

We returned from that party, but you seemed to say I didn't,
I had my mind somewhere as I placed a fork on the soup end,
You grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye,
I looked after a blink and you splashed the whole night.

You pushed me back on to the wall, you pulled yourself over me,
I tried to fight but my words were lost in me,
I started crying as I was hurting underneath,
You said I love you thrice before you gave me everything.

I don't remember what happened thereafter,
Later that night I grabbed my phone and left the door unlocked,
You didn't say a goodbye, you didn't stop me once,
I slept you to a different dark moon, a different night.

You can't come back and I am glad about it all,
You can't look me in the now and say I was lost at all,
You can't touch and force and kiss me uncontrolled,
You can't do anything now that you are under my control.

Now I put that knife on your throat and wait for your cries,
You aren't going to wake up nor that i will let you die,
You will burn under this curtained night, under my soft lies,
You will burn until i can't hear your name, until you die.