I hear music

I never knew I would be writing in you the end of all of it someday. But maybe someday was nothing but just many hours passing and making up to this moment where I left her chair vacant in my past forever.

- 

She said hi! You know?? She said hi to me today. I was passing by her to get the midday drink from the vending machine when I heard her rhythmic footsteps from behind as I was fond of listening to the tapping which obviously bothered my tinnitus. So she tapped my left shoulder from behind to make me swing back through the left as to keep my back on the door to let others pass as we get a little space and time to talk. How smart, ain't she? 

Then she asked me if I was a marvel fan and I said yes. I was a bit shy to tell her my favorite character but after much thinking I could get it that I would like to tell her more about it since I loved marvel from the age of 13. 

As we ended, I left to grab a strawberry shake but my mind kept going to her unspoken words I believed she was gatekeeping from me. But anyways it is not my job to get it out from her anyways.

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One sided love may sound like the purest but maybe not to me. I think I am sounding colder and colder day by day or ink by ink as I talk about her with you. Are you jinxing it? No of course not. I have been sharing with you my whole life and you never did that neither something like this has ever happened but I don't know why but I think I am becoming someone I don't like. 

I am trying to ignore her as she is pretty good looking because I don't like looking at someone so chill and cool. She also drives but my house is nearby so I don't think I should care about any of it. But I still am.

I think I am having jealousies of the way she talks so loud and proud as if she is 17 already. 

Plus she also sweared 'shit' in chemistry practical today and I hated the way she laughed about it as if swearing is an everyday course for her. I bet she must be having so many friends out of her cheerful character. I have lots of friends too but...Why am I comparing myself to her all suddenly? 

And why was I even excited at first to write about her so cringily like what is "she said hi!"? Bruh.

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You won't believe what she did today and you might really spill your tea as I spill mine.

I was walking towards my bicycle to go back home from this hell named school for sure. And I could hear her running towards me in those black shoes dance tapping on the grass. 

I looked back to see the actual face and she stopped suddenly. She waved a bit before asking one manner question- what should you say if I said it's my birthday today?. "Umm, happy birthday?" I said. And immediately her face lighted up as if I was seeing thousand star lamps under a dark sky. She said thankyou really cheerfully the way she is and handed me a chocolate saying it was her birthday and wished me a belated one too as mine was few weeks ago. 

It was a strange thing because I never saw that cheered about their day lately. All my friends are into their somethings and I thought happiness looked cute on her. 

Wait, what?

-

Another shitty day of writing shitty instances in you but this one is legit.

I saw that I scored 42 in a test when I heard the teacher announce her name as she got highest in it. Then I rechecked in a heat if I lost somewhere and I found it. I finally got it corrected and got more than her. Though she was not present today else her face would have said it all. Or her laugh too.

I think I can read her now.

- 

I am ending it today about her in you. She literally made me sing in front of the whole class today. Though I killed it but it got me so embarrassed. Damn. 

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Another last time. For sure.

I said I didn't like her. Yes I told her that today and also said to stop stalking me from now. Her face looked sad but I don't know, I guess that was all I wanted. 

She left without another word and I also started walking my out of the park. 

I could feel the music in my head slowly dying away as she proceeded. But I couldn't care less I guess.

I believe I hear music when I am with her. But I don't think I can live on music forever. I don't know. I don't want it. I don't.