to leave

 

I had actually forgotten how hard it was for me to let go of the feeling I got when you told me that you're leaving. When we had first started talking, it was so normal like of you telling me that "oh, no, actually I'm leaving for this city in 10th standard. So I won't be here anymore, its just my last year" and I had simply got that hit like "oh, okay" and I know i had said that I'll miss you but at that time it was not serious.

But I guess now it is.

 

I don't know if you all ever feel like that someone is leaving your life forever but you know that there will still be that some hollow in your heart like that in a donut. The cream with sprinkles around, that's life and that will still be simple and pretty and sweet just like always or sometimes ever it is for you and me respectively. But that big round hollow, that circle of emptiness in your heart, that void in your mind which you just can't fill ever. That's i guess the type of feeling you get when someone's leaving you forever.

 

When I had that you are leaving and when we got closer as friends and even when we didn't had a great past or didn't even thought of a future, of something together ahead in time, we knew that we were going to miss each other. I have no idea if you still miss me after all the misshappenings that occurred between us. I guess you don't and I'm fine with it till I remember that I remember you.

Until i remember that nickname you gave me. And until I remember that the school still exists where we went together, met for the first time. That school holds so much of me and I'm so bad for acting like that its a crap building. 

 

Today my best friend told me that there is probability of her leaving this state for Delhi as her father has been transferred there. Its so damn weird how instantly I remembered you. How instantly and in a jiffy,  there was something again that came to life inside me of you.

You're insane and not mine. That's the part. That's where I lose control.